Troubled Teamwork, Confused Confessions
by Rhyno Holter
Summary: Kyubey invites the girls to share their feelings with each other, all in the name of cooperation and teamwork. R&R!


"Knock, knock," a girl barked through the door. "C'mon, Homerun, let's get crackin'." Her hair, a flame resting upon her head, danced as she rapped harshly on the door.

Homura walked briskly to the door and opened it slowly, glaring through the opening. "I'd much appreciate it if you didn't call me that, Kyoko."

Kyoko was unphased; Homura's glare was so omnipresent, it lost all possible meaning. Kyoko simply smiled at the black-haired girl.

"Whatever you say, Homerun."

Homura sighed through her nose and walked backwards, allowing the door to open all the way. With the door wide open, Kyoko let herself in. She was flanked by two other girls, one with bright blue hair worn in a short and simple fashion, the other with curly blonde pigtails. All three of them were dressed in stylish over-the-top outfits, leaving Homura's peculiarly purple patterned school uniform to be the only relatively normal-looking of the bunch.

Homura lead them into the main part of the apartment, a large white room that seemed to have no end. Pictures on the wall – or were they hanging in mid-air? – seemed perfectly in sync with the odd room, their designs and pictures nowhere near as creepy as the pendulum that just happened to swing overhead. The otherwise featureless walls only served to emphasize how spotlessly clean the room was.

"Geez Homura," the blunette muttered in jest, "you could have picked up a little for us."

Homura didn't quite get it. "It seems perfectly clean to me." The blunette chuckled weakly as she and the other girls were lead to the center of the room, where a nearly empty table sat. The table itself was clear of objects, but sitting in one of the chairs…

"Madoka?" the blonde asked. "Didn't realize you were here already."

"I should have known," the blunette crossed her arms and huffed. "Think you're pretty slick, huh Homura? What with your time magic and all?"

"Actually, Sayaka," the pink-haired girl at the table spoke, nervousness breaking her voice. "Homura didn't use time magic at all. She called you guys just when we were on the way back here."

"You mustn't always assume, Sayaka," Homura said simply, cocking a rare smirk on her otherwise tense face. This caused the one called Sayaka to quiver in frustration. "You know what they say about people who assume."

Sayaka's eyes sparkled with fury until Kyoko's voice interrupted. "What?" Both girls looked at Kyoko, whose tilted head held a quizzical look. "What _do_ they say about people who assume?"

"I… never mind, Kyoko," Sayaka closed her eyes and laughed quietly, all anger gone. "I'll tell you later." Kyoko didn't look too pleased but said nothing.

"Well now that everyone is here, why don't we all have a seat?" Homura said softly, gesturing to the chairs around the circular table.

They all did, with Sayaka settling in next to Madoka. The red-haired one, Kyoko, sat on the opposite side of Sayaka, allowing some distance between herself and the girl in blue. The blonde, easily the oldest of the five, sat on Kyoko's other side, allowing enough room between herself and Madoka so that Homura could nestle herself in. The blonde closed her eyes and sighed, a smile on her face.

"You look nice tonight, Madoka," Homura muttered shyly as she sat down. Madoka's face reddened slightly as she started playing with the frills of her pink dress.

"Th-thanks, Homura-chan…"

"Well Akemi-san," the golden-haired girl began, "it's a little odd of you to call a meeting on a Friday, especially since we just had one a few days ago." Her voice rang out in the endless room, an unmistakable authority in her light Italian accent. She peered at her with one eye open. "May I ask why again so soon?"

"Actually, I didn't call this meeting." Homura looked around at the other girls, their eyes staring incredulously at her. She simply gazed back at all of them. In a staring contest she would probably win, even if it were against all of them at the same time. "I have no idea why this meeting was called."

"Then why are we here?" the blonde inquired calmly.

"That would be because of me, Mami," a soft voice mewed from under the table. Madoka gasped with excitement.

"Kyubey!" She looked under the table and with both hands pulled from under it what could easily have been a white ferret. Or a cat. Or a rabbit. Or some weird alien hybrid of all three. It had a very feline-esque body, but its ferret-ears had a second pair of rabbit ears sprouting from them. A single ring seemed to float around each ear, defying all reason, as if the ears had their own gravitational pull to keep the rings afloat. Most striking though were its red eyes and smiling face that seemed to blend in with the colorless walls, making the creature rather creepy to behold.

Nonetheless, it was _just cute enough_ (in an unbearable way) that Madoka was unphased as she held the creature close to her. Mami rested her chin on her palm, staring at the creature with a look of disinterest in her eyes.

"And why did _you_ call us here, Kyubey? Surely there's a reason behind this meeting?"

"Well," Kyubey cooed, jumping from Madoka's arms onto the table, "instead of simply preparing or planning battle strategies, I thought we could use this meeting to get to know each other a little better."

"And why do you think this necessary?" Mami asked.

Homura tensed up, a knowing look in her eyes.

Kyubey tilted his head slightly. "The last few witch hunts have gone well. I cannot deny that, nor would I. However, there seems to be a bit of uncertainty and lack of understanding amongst some of you. Some unresolved tension. I'm positive that I am not the only one who has noticed this. If you're ever to fully cooperate, I believe it logical to share your feelings with each other."

"But we're already friends," Madoka stammered. "How could we get along any better? What more can we do?"

Kyubey cooed. "Hmm. Well, I don't understand much about emotions, but I suppose you could tell us what you think of one another. Find out what everyone thinks of you. Get to know each other better." He spoke so matter-of-factly that the girls were kind of thrown off by his statement.

"And how do you propose we do that?" Homura finally asked, though her face clearly expressed that she already knew.

"I mean tell us what you think of each individual in this room. What feelings you may or may not have, or what problems may or may not exist. Determine who you're compatible with." He sat down on the table, looking more like a statue than a living creature as he spoke, or whatever he was doing to make his words audible. "Didn't you say we were all friends here, Madoka? Then this shouldn't be too hard, should it?" He suddenly threw his body down and started rolling around like a dog wanting his belly rubbed. He looked at Homura. "Let's start with you, Homura Akemi."

Her body was still and expressionless, but her hands suddenly clenched. "Why me?"

Kyubey smiled, although to be fair he was always smiling. "You simply seemed eager. My apologies. Would you rather we start with Madoka instead?"

Though Homura kept her vision locked on the red-eyed creature before them, she could feel several pairs of eyes on her. It was as if her heart were suddenly thrust into the spotlight. And despite everything she had been through, Homura _still _hated that feeling. However, she had done this many times before. She breathed in slowly and began.

"I don't know how you want me to start," Homura breathed slowly, choosing each word carefully, "but I trust each and every one of you. I would gladly put my life in your hands." A hint of sorrow. "Though I'm not sure if any of you feel the same way, I'm really glad I met all of you."

All eyes were still on her.

A tut of disapproval. "I wonder if you're doing this on purpose." Kyubey curled up in a ball, eyes still on Homura. "I meant each person as an individual, Homura. "

Homura narrowed her eyes.

"What, Homerun?" Kyoko barked a laugh. "C'mon, loosen up. Tell us all how you _really feel!" _

"I… I don't know who to start with," Homura stated, looking down at the table.

"If you're not sure where to begin, then may I suggest that you start with the person on your right? In your case, Madoka Kaname."

Homura turned to the pinkette. Those pink eyes seemed so warm and friendly, it was hard to resist. However...

"I don't think there's anything I can say about her."

"Oh come on," Kyoko whined, a stick of pocky now dangling from her mouth. "We all know how you feel about her, Homerun. Least you can do is humor Kyubey and say it out loud."

Homura bit her lip to stop from cursing Kyoko, clenching her hands as they lay in her lap. She ignored everyone in the room and tried to keep calm. Tried not to blush. Tried not to let anything - _everything _– she felt about Madoka bubble up to the surface. But though she tried to wear an emotionless mask, what she did spoke louder than anything she could have said.

Madoka shifted uncomfortably. "How she… w-what do you mean?" A pair of pink eyes searched desperately for violet eyes to look back, to give her an answer, to somehow react. But they only stared at the table before them, trying to comprehend how quickly this had spiraled beyond her control.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sayaka asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure Homura has the hots for you," she tutted disapprovingly.

Homura's face finally started to redden. What in the world could she say now? Her vacant stare only showed that there were too many thoughts for her to process. What was up and what was down? Nothing was normal anymore.

"I… what?" Madoka began to blush as well. "You're joking, r-right?"

"I'm afraid… they aren't."

Homura's voice shook as she spoke. She was still looking down as she spoke, afraid to return anyone's gaze. Nervousness seemed to grip her tightly, nervousness she hadn't experienced in an eternity. She didn't like it, but what else could she do? She'd done this before… why was she breaking down now? Everything she'd gone through – all the timelines and deaths and negations, all for Madoka – why did she have to remember them now? Her heart ached, and it ached for the girl next to her.

It didn't matter. All eyes were on her as the shy girl she had hidden away for so long finally came to the forefront.

"I… I f-feel like…" Homura tried to choose her words carefully, but her brain seemed to melt so that all was left was mush. "I don't know, Ma-Madoka. Concerning y-you, I feel many things. You're my strength, but also my only w-weakness." She gulped. "I don't think I can live without you, Madoka. You're my only reason for being." She transferred all the emotions she felt to her hands and clenched them as tightly as possible, ignoring the pain of her nails piercing her palms.

"Homura-chan," Madoka blushed, slowly raising her hand up to her mouth in shock. She hadn't seen this side of Homura before, no one in this time had. Everyone just stared at this dark-haired girl as if they'd never seen her before.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Kyubey purred. "Anything else you have to say, Homura?"

Homura looked up at Kyubey and glared at him. It wasn't one of her normal glares either – hatred leaked from her eyes. She hoped Kyubey would burn, or suffer, or feel some sort of negative emotion. Maybe someone would someday beat him at his own game. Anything to wipe that stupid smile of his stupid face.

"No. It wasn't hard at all," she lied through her teeth, flipping her hair nonchalantly, her eyes shooting daggers at Kyubey.

Mami offered a kind hand and gave her a pat on the back. Homura shivered and shook her off.

"Either way, have you anything to say about anyone else here that you haven't already said, Homura?"

She didn't answer immediately, though she appeared to mull the idea over in her mind. Her violet eyes raced back and forth, one thought to the next. Finally, after a moment of silence she shook her head. Relief spread through her.

"Very well. In that case, I suggest we move on. Madoka," his eyes turned to her, "you're next."

"Ah, me?" she squealed in embarrassment.

"Correct. Do you feel anything towards Homura, who poured her heart out for you? Or perhaps for anyone else in this room?"

Madoka looked around awkwardly at the other girls before lowering her head. After a few moments of silence…

"I actually like you too, Homura-chan."

"Whaaa?" Sayaka grimaced and stood up. "No way… her? _Her_?" She pointed at Homura, causing Homura to look up in shock. "Madoka… why?"

"She's always looking out for me," Madoka blushed. "Always there for me. I guess… it's only natural?"

"Natural? Pah! Well I disapprove!" She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. "I think, as your wife, my opinion on this matter counts just as much as yours."

"Wife?" Kyoko repeated, staring at Sayaka in disbelief. A hint of anguish flashed in her eyes, though only for a moment. Sayaka looked at Kyoko, her face getting red.

"I-It's an inside joke, Kyoko," she stuttered. "We're not really m-married."

"Wife-to-be, then?" Mami retorted, playfulness in her eyes.

"No, that's not it at all, Mami! Butt out!"

"Don't worry, Sayaka. I get it," Kyoko mumbled, lowering her head. Sayaka simply closed her mouth and sat back down, wondering why Kyoko was reacting like she was.

Madoka placed her hand on Sayaka's shoulder. "I like you too, Sayaka-chan."

Sayaka looked up and Madoka and smiled weakly. "I'm your wife. You'd better like me," she sniffled.

Madoka almost smiled back, but then caught a glimpse of Kyoko's face. Slowly, she removed her hand from Sayaka's shoulder and placed it back in her lap. Kyoko's expression didn't change.

"And Kyoko-chan, I don't know you very well, but I think if we had more time and got to know each other, I'd like you just as much."

"Humph. Yeah, yeah."

Madoka laughed nervously, and then quickly focused her attention to the blonde next to Kyoko.

"And Mami-san! Oh, Mami-san, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even _be_ a Puella Magi! So I have to thank you for that!"

"Thank you, Kaname." Mami smiled at the pink-pigtailed girl, who smiled back.

"No need to thank me. It's the truth! You're special to me; no one in this room could replace you! But, ah," she continued nervously, scratching the back of her head. "All of you are irreplaceable. All of you!"

At this, Homura and Mami locked eyes for a moment, staring each other down. Mami smiled mischievously. Homura glared, and Madoka, of course, was oblivious to all this.

"Excellent, Madoka Kaname," Kyubey said. "You did it perfectly. You may relax." Madoka smiled cutely, letting out a breath of relief. Homura wrapped an arm uneasily around Madoka, who rested her head on the other girl's shoulder.

Kyubey turned his attention to a girl with eyes the color of the sky. "Sayaka..."

Sayaka stood up and slammed her hands to the table.

"Great. I'd like to start my turn with you, Homura."

"Me?" Homura lowered her arm from Madoka's shoulder, her eyes emotionless once more. It was as if she'd never expressed emotion in the first place, a skill she had long since perfected.

"Yeah, you! Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I don't know what you mean."

Sayaka made a face and grabbed at the air, trying to choke it. "You… you come here, and no one knows who the heck you are! You talk as if you know all of us, but then we're left wondering about you instead! Everything you say… I don't want to believe you, even when what you say comes true! Always so cryptic…"

"I simply…" Homura tried to begin.

"You have these weird time powers, too… and since that's your only power, you resort to using real weapons! I'm always afraid I'm gonna get caught in an explosion, and there's no telling since you're just gonna freeze time to…" Then she gasped, "_I bet you use your powers to cheat on our exams!_" She pointed at Homura accusingly.

"Sayaka, I do not cheat on…"

"I'm not done yet! And _then_ there's the way you act around Madoka! Like… like a creeper, or a weirdo!" Her bangs fell into her face as she ranted, so as she finished she moved her bangs out of her eyes, tucking them behind her ear. "I'm sorry. I just… I don't like you very much."

"Clearly." Homura regarded the girl before her, eyeing her with an uninterested look in her eye. "Truthfully, I don't like you much either, Sayaka Miki." Homura frowned as she said this. "However, I **do** think you are a valuable ally to us all, and an important friend to Madoka. I do not wish ill of you." Then, with a sense of irony she concluded, "I like this timeline."

"There you go again, talking about all that weird stuff." Sayaka waved her hand, dismissing Homura's words. "Whatever. I said what I had to say." She then turned to Madoka, and smiled. She quickly turned to Kyubey.

"I talked about Madoka during her turn. Do I have to say it again, Kyubey?"

"You mean, about her being your wife?" Sayaka nodded, not noticing Kyoko's subtle reaction. "There's no reason you should repeat yourself, if that's the case. Proceed."

Madoka smiled understandingly at Sayaka as the blunette's eye flickered to a certain flame-haired girl.

"Kyoko…"

Kyoko chose not to respond, instead fiddling with her fingers on the table.

"Kyoko," Sayaka repeated firmly.

"Yeah?" Kyoko decided that as long as she was going to answer, she wasn't going to look directly at Sayaka.

"Look at me, please."

Kyoko cursed silently as she looked up at the blunette, noticing that Sayaka wasn't looking at her angrily for once. There was deep concern in her eyes, and maybe a hint of confusion.

"Are you okay?"

Kyoko scoffed and looked away. Sayaka growled, agitation slipping into her voice.

"Kyoko, I asked you a question! Are. You. Okay?"

The fiery-haired girl glanced back at Sayaka, eyes narrowed. For a moment it looked as if she was going to scream at her, but at the last second she seemed to think sarcasm worked better.

"I'm fine. Just dandy, Sayaka! Why wouldn't I be okay?" Try as she might she couldn't hide the bitterness slipping through her words. Sayaka frowned.

"You don't have to give me attitude, Kyoko. You just seem a little on edge. More than usual, I mean." She smirked. "Anxious for your turn?"

"Hell nah." She put her hands behind her head and closed her eyes. "Besides, an attitude? Me? Never! Not on your account_,_ Sayaka." Her tone was dry, her signature one-tooth grin filling up her face. Sayaka's cheeks began to redden with anger.

"Kyoko…" she began warningly. Kyoko widened her grin, her eyes beaming.

"What? I didn't do _nothin_'," she smirked playfully. "Here I am, mindin' my own business and waiting for you to say something about me."

"Ugh! Why do you do this, Kyoko!"

"Pfft, because it's fun."

"Fine, wanna know what I think about you?" Sayaka pointed a skinny finger. "I hate you!"

Kyoko chomped down in shock, breaking the pocky in her mouth in two. The broken piece hit the table, seeming to echo throughout the entire room. After a moment, she regained her composure, crossing her arms in front of her chest to stop from shaking.

"And that goes double for me, little miss hero."

"Walking garbage disposal!" Sayaka leaned closer to Kyoko's face.

"Sailor Moon wannabe!" Kyoko leaned even closer, now nose-to-nose with the cyan-eyed girl.

Sayaka growled. "You… you…" She grasped at the air again. "I… I can't even think of a good enough insult, you're so annoying, Condom-chan!"

A pause.

"Condom-chan?" Now it was Kyoko's turn to turn red.

Sayaka grinned. "Oh that's right. They haven't heard your street name before, have they? Condom-chan."

"I… please d-don't, Sayaka," Kyoko stammered, her face as red as her hair. She was quivering.

Homura smiled to herself, amused at Kyoko's behavior when the tables were turned.

"Stop, Sayaka," Kyoko grit her teeth and balled her hands into fists. "If you say any more about it I'll knock your teeth down your _goddamn throat_, I swear I will!" Her whole head was entirely red, making the whites of her eyes stand out in contrast. She would have looked almost comical if her narrowed eyes and tone didn't suggest she was set to kill.

"Oh, yeah right Condom-chan!" She laughed triumphantly, gesturing to her cheek. "Come on then, hit me with your best shot!"

"Now now, Sayaka, Kyoko," Mami interrupted. Her voice was calm, but her tone was dangerous – she meant business. "Calm down."

Kyoko and Sayaka both stopped to look at Mami then lowered their heads in unison. Sayaka sat back down, feeling slightly ashamed.

"Now, Sayaka. You know better than to call people names, particularly if the nicknames are rude. Isn't that right, Homerun?" She winked at Homura, whose once-amused eyes glared at Mami once more.

"And Kyoko, you know better than to act violently. Why are you so upset? It's not a terrible nickname." The blonde tried to smile comfortingly as she pet Kyoko on the head.

Kyoko turned away from Mami, though she stayed within reach. "It's not the nickname, Mami… It's about what I told you last night."

Mami chuckled and ruffled Kyoko's hair. "That's right. I remember now."

"Hmm? Kyoko, have you something to share with the rest of us?" Kyubey asked, curiosity in his voice. Kyoko froze on the spot.

"Err…"

Sayaka smirked. "I'd gladly finish my turn for you, Kyoko. Hand over the spotlight, so to speak. One friend to another. It's _so_ easy, you know."

"Wait, Sayaka" Kyoko said, scratching the back of her head nervously. "You haven't said anything about Mami-san! You should—"

"I feel the same way that Madoka feels about her. Mami-san inspired me to become a Puella Magi." Sayaka gestured towards Kyoko. "There, now it's your turn,."

"Kyubey!" Kyoko yelled at the feline creature. "You aren't going to allow this, are you?"

Kyubey nodded, never taking his red eyes off of Kyoko's red hair. "I'm afraid technically she's done. Kyoko, you may begin whenever you are ready."

"I… uh…"

Five pairs of eyes were on her, but the only eyes that stood out from the rest were the sapphires staring from her left. She had to avoid them at all costs. "I'll start with Mami, then!" Kyoko laughed nervously, turning her attention to the right. Sayaka blinked.

"You're starting the wrong way, Condo—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence!"

Sayaka stopped mid-sentence to stick her tongue out, a mischievous smile crossing her face. Kyoko stuck her tongue right back out, closing her eyes to avoid looking into those azure pools.

"You were saying, Sakura-san?" Mami asked pleasantly, resting her chin on her palm. Kyoko opened her eyes and smiled – a genuine smile, one that she rarely wore.

"Mami… You're probably my closest friend here. You were there for me when I needed you most." She looked down at the table nervously. "Even when I thought I didn't need anyone, even though I pushed you away… you still came back. I have to thank you, Mami – you were always there for me. You're special to me"

"Special," Homura repeated quietly. Madoka started kicking her legs out and giggled loudly. She tried to stifle her giggles by covering her mouth with both hands, but it only succeeded in making her look more childlike.

"Kyoko likes Mami!" Madoka squealed. "Kyoko and Mami!" Sayaka narrowed her eyes, but Madoka paid her no mind as she continued to giggle.

"Hey, stop that!" Kyoko sputtered, her face turning pink.

"You're far too kind, Kyoko." Mami smiled softly at the red-head, who looked up and smiled back. "I wish I had your enthusiasm half the time. But surely there's someone else in this room you'd rather talk about?"

Kyoko frowned a bit, trying to avoid the topic at all costs. "I mean... not really."

"Come on. You can say it." Mami's wink went unnoticed by Kyoko, who suddenly seemed very interested in playing with her thumbs. "This is a friendly place, Kyoko. You can share. You kind of have to, isn't that right Kyubey?"

"Correct, Mami."

"Kyoko…" Homura spoke clearly, her voice beckoning all eyes to her. "Whatever you have to say about anyone, you can do it. I was able to. I… never thought I'd say it like I did, but I still did it. And if I can, I know you can as well."

Mami smiled at Homura's words. "See? Homura agrees – you should get it over with. The longer you dwell on it, the worse it will get."

Kyoko bit her lip, frustrated at the sudden gang up.

Sayaka sighed impatiently and lowered her head to the table, frustrated. "Just skip her then. Whatever she had to say shouldn't have taken this long."

That was it. Kyoko let out an aggravated moan and stood up, her eyes focused on one individual in the room. "Sayaka!" She stretched out each of the syllables, letting each one echo.

Sayaka was surprised at the sudden urgency to Kyoko's voice, but she lifted her head calmly nonetheless. "Yeah, Kyoko?"

"You!" Kyoko raised her hand to point at Sayaka, her finger almost touching the girl's nose. Sayaka fought the urge to smirk.

"…Yeah?"

The two caught each other's gaze and held it, the red unable to break the blue and vice versa. Their faces started to flush with color from the effort of trying to bore into the other's mind. Tension seemed to grow uncontrollably in that momentary silence. Neither girl knew what the other was going to say or how the other would react. But then, they were kind of counting on that.

After a moment, Kyoko sat back down. "Nothing."

Sayaka blinked and started laughing. "What was all that build-up for?" Her laughter grew uncontrollable, her whole body shaking. Mami frowned at Kyoko.

"Kyoko… if you're not going to share, I should do it for you."

Kyoko jerked her head to Mami, her eyes wide with incomprehension.

"Mami, do you know what Kyoko was going to say?" Kyubey asked.

"I believe I do. And I'm more than willing to share, if she's not. Just to get it out of the way."

"Hey! HEY!" Kyoko slammed her hands on the table, startling Mami. A look of defeat crossed those crimson eyes as she grumbled, "Let's get this over with then."

"Finally," Sayaka mumbled.

Kyoko turned to the blunette. It was now or never.

"Sayaka," she said again, calmly this time. She tried meeting her blue eyes but found she was unable to see straight. She was getting dizzy.

"Yes?" Sayaka's face displayed no emotion, because she didn't know which to express. She was confused – all this trouble from Kyoko, just because of her? She braced herself for the worst.

"I…"

"You…" Sayaka repeated dully.

"I think…"

"You think…"

Kyoko growled and swung at Sayaka. "I'm trying to tell you that I like you, dummy! The least you can do is stop mocking me!"

Sayaka dodged and shot back, "Then stop stal—" then she froze midsentence. Her face was turning red. She gazed up at Kyoko, tried to properly look at this girl who had caused her almost nothing but trouble over the last few weeks. "You… what?"

Madoka gasped. "No way! Sayaka… Kyoko likes _you_, _too_?"

"Madokaaa!" Sayaka covered her face with her hands, her face even brighter than Kyoko's.

"Hmm," was all Homura could say as she placed her hand on her chin, a smile fighting its way to her lips. "What about Kyosuke, I wonder?" she whispered.

Madoka whispered back, "Sayaka's been trying getting over him since he and Hitomi started dating, and I think that's when she and Kyoko stopped fighting… as often."

"Why, Kyoko?" Sayaka looked at Kyoko, her eyes trying to bore into Kyoko's once more. "Why do you think you like me?"

Kyoko laughed nervously. "I'm not sure, actually. Kind of goes against what I was taught, you know, since I was raised in the church. But," she thought for a moment, "you're a fun person to mess with. And actually, I can see myself in you." Sayaka looked embarrassed as Madoka began giggling again. Kyoko suddenly realized what she said and shook her head wildly. "Not like that! I mean… you're a lot like how I used to be. I admire your idealism, even if I think that you're an idiot for thinking most of it."

Sayaka thought about this before she replied. "That makes sense, actually. Us fighting all the time, that's kind of what brought us closer, don't you think? I mean, we know each other pretty well when it comes to fighting. I'd like to think we're a pretty good team." She stuck her tongue out, at which Kyoko laughed more heartedly.

"Yeah, I guess. Sorry about the whole… trying to kill you thing, by the way…" Kyoko looked away, bitterly recalling the circumstances of how the two met.

"You're forgiven, if only because I know _as annoying as you are_, you're not a bad person. And I know, despite your attitude, I can change you." She smiled as she said this, trying to wink. She couldn't do it as easily as Mami could.

Kyoko still wore her toothy grin as she shot back "In your dreams!"

Suddenly the room became very uncomfortable, and it wasn't hard to see why. The two girls were gazing at each other as if they'd just realized something deeply personal about each other. Their eyes were filled with such desire that it was awkward for outsiders to behold – they felt like they were intruding upon their privacy. Mami cleared her throat to try to bring their attention back to reality.

"Have you anything you wish to say about anyone else, Kyoko?" Kyubey rang out, bringing the two out of their thoughts and breaking their gaze. "About Homura Akemi or Madoka Kaname?"

"Huh?" Kyoko broke away from those blue eyes once more. "Oh. Um… Homura?" Homura gingerly adjusted herself so that she was as far away from the redhead as possible, not quite knowing what Kyoko might say. This had gone so off course that anything was possible…

"You're the first stranger to accept me into this group and for that I'm thankful, but I really think you need to lighten up a bit, personally." She smirked playfully, offering Homura a stick of pocky from her box. Homura declined. "Other than that, Homerun, you're pretty cool if I do say so myself."

Homura didn't glare at Kyoko, nor did she smile. She simply nodded acceptingly.

"And Madoka," she continued to smirk. She was running on a natural high now. "I call dibs on Sayaka. She's _my_ bride now." Madoka smiled brightly, holding a V-sign on her hands. Kyoko gladly returned it.

"Ahem," Mami cleared her throat. "If we're going by seating arrangement, I believe it's finally my turn."

"Of course, Mami!" Madoka said, clapping her hands. "The stage is all yours."

"Good. And if I may, I'll start with you, Kaname-san."

"Oh, you can stop being so formal, Mami!" Madoka said cheerfully. "We're all friends in here."

"Oh, I'm sorry Madoka. It's a habit I'm trying to break. It just comes out naturally, being the fifth wheel and all."

"We're sorry, Mami," Kyoko said nervously.

"Don't be, Saku—I mean, Kyoko." She smiled at her former student then quickly turned her gaze back to Madoka. "So… Madoka." She gave a friendly smile to the pink-pigtailed girl. "I'm not quite sure I know how to begin."

Madoka tilted her head quizzically, a smile still on her face.

"Just speak from your heart, Mami-san!"

Hearing Madoka's encouraging words, Mami suddenly realized exactly what she wanted to say. "Thank you, Madoka. I'm glad you at least believe in me."

"Hey, we believe in you too, Mami-san!" Sayaka chimed in, a little confused.

"Yeah, what gives Mami?" Kyoko exclaimed.

"I'll get to you two in a moment," Mami raised her gloved hand to the girls. "Right now, I'm talking to Madoka. If you don't mind…?" Her voice was suddenly calm, dangerous. The two backed off.

Mami continued. "Madoka, you know how you said I was special to you? Well… you're special to me as well." She tried to smile comfortingly but seemed unable to do so naturally. Homura shifted uncomfortably next to Madoka.

"How do you mean, Mami Tomoe?"

Mami winked at Homura playfully, which Homura didn't quite acknowledge. "Isn't it obvious, Akemi-san?"

"Mind spelling it out for those of us a little slow on the uptake?" Sayaka said, suddenly very much aware.

"Of course." Without warning, Mami reached in front of Homura and took Madoka's hands. Madoka blushed slightly, unable to respond or react. Homura jerked upright as if to stand up. Without pause, Mami continued "Madoka… I think I'm in love with you."

Violently violet fire seemed to glow from beneath Homura's raven-colored hair, wanting nothing less than to set Mami ablaze. Madoka stammered and stuttered incoherent gibberish but ultimately said nothing, her head turning from Homura to Mami and back. Mami, who knew this reaction was inevitable, let go of Madoka and placed her hands back in her lap.

"I'm sorry. Everyone else's confessions were so lovely. Such is the curse of being last. But ah, I imagine you don't feel the same, do you Madoka?"

"I'm afraid she doesn't," Homura spoke, her voice just as calm as Mami's and twice as dangerous. She flipped her hair.

"Homura-chan," Madoka whispered quietly, beckoning all eyes to her. Funny how that often that seemed to happen. "I like you, I really do… but… Mami-san was…" She turned away from Homura, unable to meet her eyes.

"Oh. My. God." Kyoko covered her face with her hand, unable to keep steady as she was shaking from laughing so hard. "This is epic!"

"Better Mami than Homura, I guess…" Sayaka muttered, also avoiding Homura's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Akemi-san," Mami frowned, reaching out to pat Homura's shoulder. Homura pulled away. "I'm just trying to be honest with you all… and myself." She tapped her chin with her forefinger thoughtfully. "Speaking of, I think I need to move on to the next person… may I?"

"Whatever." Homura lowered her gaze, looking down at Kyubey.

"Well it's you, so…"

"Hm."

"I'm sorry. You didn't expect a rival in love, did you, Homura?"

Homura kept silent.

"I respect you as a person and as a Puella Magi. If everything you've told us is true, and I've no reason to believe otherwise, then it will truly be hard to compete with you. That said… I don't think I should give up so easily, yes?"

"…but why Madoka?" Homura fought the urge to cry – one display of emotions was enough for this timeline.

Mami considered her for a moment and sighed. "Hard to say." She shrugged half-heartedly. "I must have been feeling down, and to cheer me up she confessed that she wanted to emulate me, that my being a hero inspired her. She made her wish because of me. Her words dragged me from my sorrow, and that's when I realized."

"Mami-san…" Madoka's eyes teared up at her words. Homura's heart sank, but this only made her feel even more strongly when she spoke.

"I see." Homura looked up dramatically at the blonde. "Even so, don't think I'll let you slide so easily."

"I had no such delusions, Akemi-san," Mami said happily. "And honestly… you aren't the only one at this table who should be worried."

"Oh?" Homura looked nervous now.

Kyoko was still laughing, not even bothering to cover up her hearty bellows. Sayaka looked embarrassed just sitting next to her.

"Indeed. Sayaka should be worried as well."

Sayaka looked alarmed at the mention of her name from her mentor's mouth.

"M-me?"

"I'm afraid so. Like you, I am infatuated with Kyoko. And since I've known her longer…" She trailed off, her eyes suddenly drawn to the redhead.

Kyoko stopped laughing, or even moving altogether. "Um?"

"…you're joking, right?" Sayaka stumbled on her words, her face impossible to read. Mami shook her head, almost sadly.

"I'm afraid not. As I said before, I'm trying to be honest with myself. It's only fair that the rest of you know as well."

"Ugh! Not again!" Sayaka grabbed at her hair and slammed her head on the table. "I thought I'd be done with this, with Kyosuke… but Kyoko too?"

"I understand how you feel, Sa—"

"I don't think you do!" Sayaka stood up, eyes filled with tears.

"Mami…" Kyoko breathed the name slowly, trying to fight the rush of blood to her cheeks. "I mean, you know how I feel. But we kind of… broke up, you know?"

Sayaka turned to stare blankly at the ginger. "Broke up… broke up... _You mean you've already dated?_"

Mami smiled. "When we first met, she was still learning the basics of being a Puella Magi. I was more than willing to take her under my wing, and things took off from there. We had a falling out not long after…" She looked at Kyoko nervously, and then continued as if she never stopped, "and it hurt. It hurt more than you can ever know. A few months later, after I met the three of you… she came back into my life." The look on in her amber eyes was pure nostalgia.

"You seem to have a liking for girls who are just starting out. Is this a fetish of yours, Mami Tomoe?" Homura asked dryly. Sayaka couldn't help but giggle, Homura's words being the only thing attempting to break the awkwardness.

Mami smiled, ignoring Homura's comment. "I'm still not willing to give up on you, you know. I haven't given up for this long, Kyoko. I can wait."

"What about Madoka, then?" Homura asked once more, trying to disguise her contempt with curiosity. Mami kept quiet, simply choosing to wink again at Homura. Homura looked furious. Kyoko scratched the back of her head nervously, trying not to blush.

"It's not that I don't like you like that anymore, Mami. But…" She pointed her finger at Mami like a gun and yelled in a high-pitched voice, "_Tiro Finale!" _She gave a Mami-esque wink as she mock-fired.

Sayaka looked back and forth between Kyoko and Mami. "Um… am I missing something?"

Mami narrowed her eyes at Kyoko but then burst into laughter. "Hmm. As I said before, I'm like the fifth wheel." Then she turned to Sayaka and addressed the blunette, "I guess this makes us rivals in love as well, Miki-san." Mami smiled knowingly at Sayaka, who looked like she didn't know how to react.

"As if I didn't get enough of that already," Sayaka finally pouted.

"Sayaka Miki," Homura began quietly, "we can team up if you'd like. Together, we could take Mami out of the equation." Mami giggled quietly.

"Homura, don't sound so scary!" Madoka yelped. Homura chuckled darkly, while Sayaka rolled her eyes.

"Sounds more silly than scary to me," Kyoko chimed in, her mouth having filled up with food when no one was looking. Sayaka took one look at her and began laughing, causing the redhead to flush with irritation.

"I guess this means that we're done here, correct?" Mami stood up, patting the wrinkles out of her skirt. "We've shared how we feel, and we each learned something about each other." She gave her hand to Homura who accepted without a second thought, almost immediately regretting it.

"Some good that's done us," Sayaka mumbled, though her eyes never left Kyoko.

"Actually, that's what I was about to address, Sayaka Miki."

Everyone stopped and looked at the small creature. He continued without pause.

"You've all done well. Exceptionally well. So I suppose since you have all shared your emotions and don't quite know what to do with them… we can always try the harem route." He tilted his head. "It seems the most logical choice of action."

Everyone paused to process this.

The harem route, he said.

_Harem._

"…WHAT?" Kyoko and Sayaka burst out together.

"A harem, you say?" Homura said as her face contorted with confusion. Madoka, as usual, was busy blushing.

"Yes. I believe that your hearts are confused when it comes to romance, especially with so many conflicting feelings towards one another in this room. It would benefit you all if you were to physically release your emotions in this way," he said. Of course, he said this in an "it will please me" kind of way. The blank eyes didn't help much.

"This is a little odd of you, Kyubey," Mami said, her tone half-joking. "I always thought of you as a little odd, of course. Never thought you were a pervert, though."

"Kyubey, you pervert!" Madoka yelped finally, nodding like crazy to agree with Mami's choice of insult.

"Pervert? Girls, why are you treating me as if I'm a pervert?" Those red eyes betrayed no emotion, but his tone was suddenly light and playful. It wasn't a convincing act.

"Don't even try putting on that act," Homura commanded, shaking her head. "I get it now. This whole thing makes perfect sense when one understands that you were always a pervert, Incubator."

"I… actually agree with Homura on this one," Sayaka muttered.

"Yeah, 'teamwork' my ass!" Kyoko laughed. "You just wanted a free peep show!"

"Girls," Kyubey retorted, "even if I _were_ to watch, or see any of you naked, I wouldn't be able to feel anything. My species doesn't have gender."

Another moment to let the words to sink in.

"You… even with this body," Mami began, her vision suddenly dazed, her hands gesturing toward herself, "you wouldn't feel anything?" Her voice went dangerously calm once more. Kyubey merely tilted his head as if he didn't comprehend. He turned to the girl nearest him.

"Madoka, you believe me, don't you?" Kyubey innocently inquired. "I had everyone's best interests in mind!"

"Kyubey," Madoka blushed, putting her hand over her mouth. "Is that what this was all about?"

"What?" Kyubey blinked.

"You know what?" Mami snapped out of her daze. "This is actually kind of funny." She stood back up and began to pet a now-tense Kyubey on the head. "We learned a bit about you too, huh Kyubey? We can trust you a little better now."

"No we can't," Homura stated simply as Madoka scurried out of her chair. Mami laughed.

"Okay, we can't. But… at least now we know?" Mami shook her head at her own words.

"A harem, though. Ugh! How inappropriate!" Sayaka retched at the thought.

"Oh, I dunno," Kyoko laughed, wrapping her arms around Mami and Sayaka. "Maybe not a harem… but a threesome sounds kind of fun. What do you ladies think?" She gave them a wink.

Hands swung from both sides, striking the back of her head together. Kyoko yelped in pain and doubled over, clutching her head where the fists struck. At that moment, Homura quickly clung onto Madoka's arm. Sayaka sighed.

"Look at you, Homerun! Getting ready to tap that Madonkadonk?" Kyoko laughed.

Madoka looked a little flustered, but everyone else laughed – even Sayaka, right before she hit Kyoko on the back of the head again.

Kyubey sat in silence on the table as the girls walked away, joking amongst themselves. They seemed strangely more at ease, despite the overall shock that filled the room not minutes before. Who knew how comfortable one might be with friends after sharing such secrets? Even Homura seemed to be smiling and enjoying herself as they left the room, transforming into their street clothes with a flash and a sparkle.

"Kyubey," Homura turned back into the room as the others carried on without her, "you're going, right?" Her voice rang out calmly, but there was an undercurrent of disgust.

"Of course, Homura Akemi," Kyubey stated. "Why would I stay?"

Homura considered him for a moment but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. She slammed the door behind her, leaving him all alone.

Kyubey wore the same featureless smile on its face. You couldn't tell from his expression, but as he stared in silence he was contemplating. He sighed indifferently and though he expressed no emotion whatsoever, there was something beneath his voice, an unresolved tension in the way he spoke.

"I really don't understand humans. Good thing they're all going to die anyway."

With a flick of his tail, he leapt off the table and walked into the white until he seemed to dissolve through the walls.

* * *

><p>AN: Lol Kyubey has blue balls.

This story was just me exploring a random idea I had one day involving the pairings and their perverted fandom – thus, the ending. I originally wanted to title this "The Harem Route."

In regards to Kyoko's nickname, watch the opening sequence of the anime. In Kyoko's split-second appearance, doesn't it look like a condom dangling from her mouth? I stole the name from the PM Wiki because I wanted to throw a nickname into the story. Use your imagination for why Sayaka would nickname her that.

What _do_ they say about people who assume? They make an **ass** out of yo**u** and **me**. :|

Thanks to my beta readers for helping me realize what a terrible author I am ;_; just kidding, you girls were awesome and helped me make some sense of my mostly incomprehensible thoughts.


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